| Along the way I fantasized about
being a sexy latex clad woman, subservient and petiteÄ slave to my desires and
whimsÄ I dreamt of strict and powerful doms controlling me and my needsÄBut in
real life, I controlled things Ä a place for everything, emotions, furniture,
relations, food.. and everything in itês place. Donna Reed would be so proud!
Over the last few years I have ridden the ride and helplessly
watched as girlphoriaês partner left due to health reasons, I survived a cancer
scare, the opinions of 32 doctors, getting my son into college, moving my daughter
and myself to a new state, new job, news schools, I crawled through the process
of getting that long over due divorce,
This year alone the ride has taken some very interesting turns...
I had that myomectomy that doctors said could, shouldnêt be doneÄ(I proved them
wrong) .. I have survived the trauma of a month in the hospitalÄ blood taken,
needles given and doctors ordersÄ I have a phobia about such thingsÄ I continued
the ride through the packing and moving back to the house gotten in the divorceÄ
through reinstating my daughter back into schoolÄ a major electrical storm, the
melting of my electrical wiring .. finding an electrician that could do the job
and not bankrupt meÄ finding mold and rot in the ceiling of my studio and in the
master bedroom windowÄ through the dirty and dust and general upheaval of unpacking
in the middle of a construction zone and then trying to put out this zine.. late
againÄ
Life has a way of sneaking into the most perfect of worlds.. and
mine is anything but perfectÄ it is cluttered with boxes and crowbars, tool belts
and 2x4ês, it is a maze of baggage and imaginationÄ guilt, fears, and desiresÄ
So in this issue I am hopping off the roller coaster, redefining
the schedule of the zine and exploring desires and guilt in the 2nd skin issue
of Girlphoria!
oceania |