Sex Wars in Space
SEXUAL UNIVERSE, Book 1:
The Empire by Michael Stone
(Lulu, 2003)
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The appeal of a well-conceived sci-fi or fantasy novel (or a series)
is the pleasure of living temporarily in an alternative world with
its own laws and cultures. Michael Stone's imaginary universe is
not exactly that of Star Wars (which seems like its closest equivalent),
but it is worth the effort of reading a first volume of almost 300
pages. (There are also two sequels.)
Book One begins with "History of the Sexual Universe," a summary
of over 1000 years which serves as an introduction to the main story,
that of a quasi-military organization, CUM (the Coalition of Upright
Moralists) which was formed to defeat an ancient black market empire
run by a hereditary ruler variously known as Maiden Japan, the Empress
and the Lady.
According to the historical backstory, discovery of a process named
"fasion" (different from fission and fusion) has enabled earthlings
to discover numerous other planets capable of supporting human life
but with no humanoid local inhabitants. This gave rise to an unprecedented
era of space colonization and government incentives for increasing
the population. During the "Age of Breeding," the new pioneers accepted
tax breaks and start-up grants to produce at least twelve children
per family and to submit to genetic tinkering to increase their
libidos. Eventually, volunteers mated with non-volunteers, and over
a period of 700 years, the whole human race has become hard-wired
to be incurably horny. Scientific discovery and invention slows
down as all the resources of numerous planets must be used for survival
needs.
After many years, a critical mass of brave souls learn to control
their appetites enough to direct their efforts toward improving
the general quality of life. Although more-or-less-constant lust
is part of the general human condition, a conflict develops between
those who also desire the greatest good for the greatest number
and those who work for the Evil Empire, which exploits the general
addiction to sex to make a profit.
In the first few chapters, the reader is introduced to the agents
of CUM, whose mission (Operation Blow Job) is to discredit and ultimately
destroy the Empire. In this phase of the plot, the actions and the
characters seem cartoonish, funny and imaginative. Agent Dawn Shaft
has been captured by agents of the Lady, who find the secret microchip
she carries in (ahem) a secret place. Back at CUM headquarters,
Major Enos is dismayed that Dawn, his best agent and favorite playmate,
is in danger along with her mission.
The reader is introduced to the CUM Sex Squad, all of whom have
enhanced sexual powers to use as weapons against the enemy. "The
Titillator" (who also has a civilian name and a history) constantly
produces aphrodisiac milk. When she twists her own nipples, everyone
within range feels the same pain in theirs. "Orgasma" is a sensitive
woman who can sense the sexual arousal of anyone within her range
and can also cause powerful, involuntary orgasms in others, thus
weakening and distracting her attackers. "Captain Testosterone"
produces radioactive sperm, which gives him superhuman strength.
His farts are powerful enough to propel him through the air for
short distances. "Rubberdick" has an incredibly long and flexible
penis with a tiny camera in its head. These sexual superheroes are
sent to rescue Agent Shaft, and the adventure begins.
Unfortunately for the Squad, the Lady has minions with sexual powers
of their own. Meet Brass Balls, who contains tiny nuclear generators
in his (and they clang as he walks), who captures and torments the
squad. Pubia is a deceptively small woman whose live pubic hair
can literally snatch whatever it wants, including Rubberdick as
he reaches for the keys of the dungeon. Nutcracker, the Lady's female
bodyguard, is especially threatening to men, and Black Hole, a man,
can pull anything and anyone into his anus. The Rattler, who seems
to illustrate the concept of men as snakes, is highly infectious.
The action is fast-paced and imaginative as the Squad repeatedly
escapes from almost certain death or conversion, and more obstacles
appear in their path. To add spice to the game, Undercover Angel
is CUM's agent in the Lady's headquarters, while someone (who?)
is an undercover agent for the Lady at CUM headquarters.
Major Enos is told that Agent Shaft and the Sex Squad have all
been killed. In despair, he steals a starship and goes AWOL. Eventually,
of course, the Major meets up with Agent Shaft (whom he missed more
than he wanted to admit) and the four superheroes. Together, they
decide to abort Operation Blow Job because the beans have been spilled.
And they know they will have to sniff out and deal with the enemy
agent at CUM headquarters. By this time, however, the Squad has
a hostage or recruit: Cherry, one of the Lady's sex-slaves, whose
virginity is magically renewed after every time she has sex. She
has a hypnotic effect on men (even on a transwoman who was born
male), and she becomes a valuable ally of the Squad.
The plot continues to thicken through 27 chapters, and the Squad
not only survives but comes to seem surprisingly three-dimensional.
The reader is told the histories of each of the four characters
which led them to volunteer for dangerous work as well as freakish
abilities which would forever separate them from (relatively) normal
people. We learn that Orgasma (Victoria) was originally a nurse
with a desire to heal the sick, while Captain Testosterone (Sydney),
that manliest of men, has self-doubt.
In a climactic scene, Sydney fights off the hypnotic influence
of a stone idol of the Lady (or the Goddess she worships), and tears
himself away from the woman he has been programmed to fuck to death.
He declares:
"NO! I will not succumb! I love her! I will not hurt her! There's
more to being human than fucking one another, and no matter what
we've become, we're still more than animals! We can feel compassion
and kindness and we can restrain ourselves! We enjoy sex, we don't
need it! Your way is selfish and cruel. I don't believe in your
way! I choose love!"
Volume One ends on this heartening note, but not all the loose
ends have been tied up. The next Empress is already born, and the
Squad has a motive to find her and rescue her from her destiny.
Unfortunately, the endless plot twists and sheer physical exuberance
cannot disguise an essentially conservative, exclusively heterosexual
model of human love. The Empress as a wily but ultimately tragic
victim of the heartless culture in which she was raised can be seen
as a sexist and racist stereotype, presented with no noticeable
irony. The narrative style is sprinkled with tense shifts and other
grammatical glitches which make a complicated story harder to follow
than it needs to be. This novel is likely to appeal hugely to teenage
boys. While this is not a bad thing, the rest of us would like a
little more depth in a story of this length. It is an entertaining
X-rated space opera, and it only disappoints the reader when it
fails to develop into what it could have been.
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