It’s Broke!
by Ellen Jacobs (c) copyright 2002
This has got to be a crowning glory for a woman. No other
woman that I know can boast this one.
I have a friend who gets herself into the strangest sexual
predicaments I have ever seen. She prefers the term "sexually
exploratory" to "slut" but will willingly cop
to either one. She is a self-proclaimed bitch and submissive,
rolled into one.She is no submissive at all, and I keep telling
her this. She just wants to be. I know her like a book. She
is a sub as long as it is fun, but when the real domination
starts, she puts a kabash on it real quick. She is just a
kinky person. I keep telling her this is ok but she has to
keep trying to find the meaning behind things..
About 5 years ago, while newly single, she found herself in
an agitated state of sexual tension. She needed to get laid
and badly so she called me and asked her if I knew any single
men that she could screw. I immediately suggested my handy
man, Robert. My reasoning was that she could be intimate with
him and he could fix some things that they are wrong with
her house.
She agreed to let me give him her phone number.
Within a couple of days he called her. They both knew what
this was going to be about from the start. She invited him
over to watch a movie and drink some wine. They settled on
a day and she made arrangements for her son to stay overnight
with his Grandparents.
The night came and they got smashed, I mean really smashed.
After the movie they then went into her bedroom and proceeded
to ravish each other bodies. They twisted into positions that
she didn’t realize a human body could twist into. They
had "hard sex" for she can’t remember how
long. There was a lot of slamming and banging for a couple
of hours. The headboard hit the wall on numerous occasions
and she was glad her son wasn’t here to hear this. It
was a night of animal abandon to desires.The next morning,
when she woke up, she found that she could not sit down without
experiencing excruciating pain in her tailbone. Something
was wrong here! It hurt to sit, it hurt to stand, it just
plain hurt!
Driving to her mother’s house to collect her son was
a trip, since she had a standard shift car. She had to brace
herself off the seat for most of the driving. Shifting was
even a bigger obstacle. To shift she had to take her foot
off the gas, and brace herself up with it while depressing
the clutch. When she had to brake, she was going to be hurting.
She drove the 80 mile round trip and then went back to bed.She
went to the doctor a few days later when it wasn’t getting
any better and he said that she cracked something in there.
Like she didn’t know that already?It took a couple of
years for the pain to go away. But that is not the end of
the story here folks. The funny part is still to come.
Then next day my buddy came over, freaked as hell. He begged
me to look at his penis. He said something was wrong with
it. I didn’t want to look at the damned thing but he
insisted. I had him cover everywhere but what he wanted me
to see. I went to the bathroom and put on rubber gloves in
case I was made to touch it. I tried to approach this with
clinical detachment but noticed how large of a penis he had.
I kept that to myself though.I looked and sure enough there
was a lump there.
It started from just below the head and looked as if it were
traveling around the penis. That didn’t look normal
at all."WHAT IS IT?" he screams. He is really freaking
out bad here. This is an important part of his anatomy, his
magical tool shall we say, and he didn’t like what he
was seeing."I don’t know. What in the holy hell
did you guys do last night?" I demand."I don’t
know. He wailed, "What is wrong with my dick!?"
It was all I could do to keep from busting out laughing at
this anguished man. You don’t attack the dick. Those
are the rules. I couldn’t wait for him to leave so I
could call my friend and give her shit about this stunt. I
had already talked to her and knew that she was in pain, but
this was something that I just had to rub her nose in. This
was a classic. She broke his dick.
He went to the doctor a few days later when it wasn't getting
any better and the doctor said that the only solution was
surgery. What they found was the vein had been crimped while
twisting into strange sexual positions and, much like a garden
hose, and all the blood was backing up and creating the inflation.
The day of the surgery I went with him. His gown gapped open
and I noticed that he had been shaved and was painted from
hell to breakfast with antiseptic. There he was, just having
had surgery on his most valued physical possession, and he
had a bright orange ass. I successfully stifled another urge
to laugh.
Later he showed me what they did to him. There were 2 rows
of stitches, eight or ten total. They had put it in a fabric
cast. I can still see it now. This bright white cloth weenie
sling and he wanted everyone to sign it. Leave it to a man
to think there is enough room on a cock cast to support a
lot of signatures..
Gods this was great. This was going down in the record books.
I have seen it all now.
