REVIEW:
THE BACK DOOR UNLOCKED

By Jean Roberta

THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO ANAL SEX FOR WOMEN - by Tristan Taormina (Cleis Press, 1998, ISBN: 1-57344-028-0, $14.95 U.S.). To order, phone: 1-800-780-2279 or write to: Cleis Press, P.O. Box 14684, San Francisco, California 94114, or e-mail: Cleis@aol.com.

The author of this book introduces herself and the subject by saying:

"Yes, I admit it -- I love anal sex. The first time someone put a finger in my butt, I almost went crazy from the pleasure . . . Each time I could take a little more and give a little more, I felt more sexually alive and powerful." Her approach looks appealingly clear and personal.

As she modestly explains, Tristan Taormina is not an expert on biology or psychology, although in her research for this book, she had access to expert information. She is probably best known as the editor of the BEST LESBIAN EROTICA series, published once a year by Cleis Press, and of ON OUR BACKS, an erotic lesbian print magazine (website at www.onourbacksmag.com). Photos of the editor herself (worth seeing, but don't just take my word for it), as well as more information, can be found on her own website (www.puckerup.com) and in her pansexual erotic magazine, PUCKER UP.

In her introduction in THE ULTIMATE GUIDE, Taormina explains that the book is intended to fill a gap (so to speak) often left empty by other sex manuals. She mentions ANAL PLEASURE AND HEALTH by Jack Morin (Down There Press, latest edition 1998) as the only previous book of its kind. Having surveyed the field, she concludes:

"The coverage of anal sexuality pales in comparison to thoughtful, thorough, and informative sections on just about every other kind of sexuality; in addition, the information presented is often negative, misinformed, outdated and even incorrect."

Why so? Possibly because of the myths on the subject of anal sex to which Chapter One is devoted:

"#1: Anal sex is unnatural and immoral,

#2: Only sluts, perverts and weirdos have anal sex,

#3: The anus and rectum were never meant to be eroticized,

#4: Anal sex is dirty and messy,

#5: Only homosexual men have anal sex,

#6: Straight men who like anal sex are really gay,

#7: Anal sex is always painful for the person on the receiving end,

#8: Women don't enjoy receiving anal sex; they do it just to please their partners,

#9: Anal sex is the easiest way to get AIDS,

#10: Anal sex is naughty."

One by one, the author patiently deconstructs these myths and shows that they are based on fear and prejudice rather than objective biological reality. She explains that if done carefully, and if based on mutual respect and honest negotiation (good things in any context), anal sex is not damaging to anyone involved. Regarding Myth #10, however, the author says: "for those of you who are turned on by the idea that anal sex is taboo, deviant, and naughty, don't let me ruin your party."

This book seems to be aimed at women (of all orientations), largely because of Myth #8. This myth appears closely related to the larger myth that "nice girls" don't really like sex in any form, but accept it because they want to please. One interesting point which emerges from the detailed explanations in this book is that the anus is one sensitive orifice which every human (female, male, gay, straight, bi, leather or vanilla) has. Or as one character in a quoted passage from an erotic story by Carol Queen says: "What I like about assholes is, everybody has one." There is no reason to assume that an activity traditionally associated with gay men could not also appeal to women (either as givers or receivers), even though we have no prostate glands to be stimulated. As the author points out, everyone's anus is rich in nerve endings.

Personally, I found the biological explanation (enhanced by diagrams) of how the anus works to be as enlightening as the discussion of emotional reactions to anal sex. I now have a better idea of why my earliest anal experiments were disappointing, even though my partners were considerate and consensual. Knowledge, as they say, is power.

Part of the charm of this book is in the playful illustrations of believable women (not built like straight porn models) in various positions. Illustrator Thia Jennings, known in the field as "Fish," has a website (www.devildog.com) where interested net-surfers can find her work.

The back of this book (like often-neglected parts of the human body) is worth exploring. It contains a thorough index which makes it easy to find particular references. The "Resources" section is a useful list of books, publications, stores/companies that sell sex toys and fetish wear, organizations that provide sexual information, and websites, including the site of Femme Productions (www.royalle.com), a woman-centred erotic film company run by star, director and producer Candida Royalle.

I still feel, as I have in the past, that IF one needs to hang onto a sexual taboo in casual situations (one-night stands or paid sessions with partners who might be drunk, high, and newly-met), anal sex is probably the most sensible thing to avoid because at worst, it can be painful and damaging. Or in other words: when in doubt, don't. I realize that this opinion is not universally shared, but it is my take on the subject.

On the other hand, or in the other opening, the snugness, intensity and degree of trust required for anal sex makes it seem perfectly suited for special occasions with special partners. As several experienced commentators testify in this book, "backdoor" sex is not like anything else. The author concludes: "In my anal erotic experiences, I've felt sheer bliss, absolute surrender, indescribable rapture, and overwhelming pleasure -- and I haven't gotten anywhere near perfect yet. In fact, I don't really want to. For me, the ultimate thrill is in the voyage."

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