Kama Sutra

Mind-Body-Spirit Union by Debora Myers

Featured Positions: 'Congress of the Cow' & 'The Mare's Position'

Our first thoughts about the Kama Sutra invoke mental pictures of aerobic sexual positions with names such as congress of the cow, the swing, fixing of a nail, and the lotus. Many of us have seen the gymnastics involved and think what's the point? I'd break my neck attempting that!

But not all of the positions and instructions written by Vatsyayana were meant for only physical sexual pleasure; many are variations of Yoga postures. The Yoga postures were involved to bring the lovers closer together in a higher spiritual and mental union. That deeper connection we all want!

The goals of the Kama Sutra are to bring pleasure of the five senses of feeling, seeing, tasting, hearing and smelling together with the mind and spirit. It was India's 400 AD sensual lovemaking manual. It taught that lovemaking was far from a simple act of procreation, it was an art form to be celebrated!

So how can we use the Kama Sutra today? What does it have to offer us, a society so obsessed with sex? Don't we, in the 21st century of sexual liberation know it all by now? I believe we still have a lot to learn about love, sex and sensuality in our highly technical society.

What I gleaned from the Kama Sutra are the sensual, spiritual and emotional connections that can be neglected in our often-crazy lives. Sure, these guys were noblemen and had the time to pamper themselves and their lovers but the truth of the matter is that we generally put sensuality low on our list of priorities in today's world. We're way too busy working to make the mortgage paymentÉ

The Kama Sutra is based on the etiquette of the time with very specific guides on hygiene and preparations for lovemaking as well as the positions and sexual instructions. We mustn't get lost in our attempts to become more sexually adept in the instructions. It's the closeness and the fun and laughter while attempting some of the wilder poses and the sensual play that may end up bringing you and your lover closer together.

Sure, you may really get off and connect with your lover on a higher level as you unite in the 'congress of a cow', but don't focus entirely on the goal of the mind-blowing orgasm. Allow yourself to laugh as you play and experiment.

As you both play together in this intimate way, you may find yourself letting go of your inhibitions and insecurities and simply relax and have fun while at the same time building the sexual energy that is needed for extended lovemaking and orgasms.

Position for Him:

The Congress of a Cow!

This position is one for the more physically fit couple. It also is one of those that should provide a good laughing session.

Vatsyayana had a thing for imitating the ways animals mated. He suggests doing it like a tiger, deer, elephantÉ.you name it, he must have had a lot of time on his hands for fooling around. Ok, enough talk about him, here is the congress of a cow.

This is one of the rear entry positions.

Basically, the woman stands, with her legs slightly spread and knees locked or (bent slightly for comfort) and supports herself with her hands on the floor- the bend over position. (Don't try this if you are not limber)

He thrusts from behind holding onto your waist or hips. This way he can move you along with his momentum. Great for him, but not the greatest for you. Let him have enough to really get going, but if you're like most women you won't want it to stop there, so change positions before he ejaculates. You may want to try these less than satisfying positions just to add a little something different to your routine but by all means don't think you have to do it like that until he climaxes. Just keep his interest. Then get into a comfortable position when you are ready to turn things around!

Note for her-I've found that in the time it takes to reshuffle into a new position, get a drink of water etc, we women can lose that sense of erotic urgency we had during foreplay. Say, for example he is kissing your lotus flower and you have climaxed several times and need a couple minutes to rebuild the sexual tension- enough to want him to penetrate you in a bad way. But he's ready to rock and roll. Get verbal ladies. As you are maneuvering from your back or wherever to the standing position for the congress of the cow, do not let him jam into you unless you are really ready and aching for him to do so. Ask him to rub his mighty shaft against your flower until you are ready for his thrustsÉ

Position for Her-

The Mare's Position!

Here's one of my favorites.

While he is on his back with his legs outstretched in front of him you can straddle him either facing or with your back to him. Rub his erection against your petals and clitoris until you are ready then sit down onto his shaft. Tighten your PC (vaginal muscles) around him in a pulsing manner as you gently rock side to side or back and forth or up and down or a variation of those movements. You may fondle and stroke his scrotum and your own clitoris for direct stimulation with your hand. He can sit up and kiss your neck and ears as you arch back to meet his tender kisses and nibbles. Tickle him softly with your hair. Ask him to caress your breasts and tweak your nipples as you bear down onto his erection.

This position is one for play and fun, but I don't recommend it for reaching orgasm. The natural tilt of his penis may keep it from rubbing on your g spot and leave you without the deeper g spot orgasm. Sure, you can bring yourself to clitoral orgasm by self-stimulation or by him reaching around to stimulate your clitoris but I suggest you turning to face him to reach the big G-O's.

As you face him, he may want to lie back and let you go for the gusto. You may want to use your hand to stimulate your clitoris while rubbing and plunging down onto his erection and find the correct position for stimulation of your G spot at the same time while you're rubbing your clit. By alternating squeezing and pushing outward you can better locate the best position for g spot stimulation. Once you find it you will know and glow!

*Reaching orgasm-tip for her

Sometimes our minds tend to wander from one silly thought to another, worrying about how our hair looks to himÉ distracting us from the sensations and feelings we are trying to enjoy. This is when I suggest closing your eyes and if you are having a hard time reaching orgasm, you may want to try a little fantasy for added stimulation to your most sexy organ -your brain. Don't worry about being weird, just let go and use your imagination. That's one of the reasons why we have one!

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The best way to improve your love life is to use lots of communication and lubrication! Don't underestimate the power of a good lube, especially if you are approaching, are in or are post-menopausal. Get over being shy and tell him what would please you. Never start in a negative tone when communicating your desires. Instead of saying "I can't stand the way you diddle me, it bugs me instead of making me aroused." Try a more positive approach, "Oh honey, you know what I'd really like? Rub me slowly up and down the hoodÉthat'd feel wonderful!" You don't want to deflate his ego. Most likely he'll be afraid to touch you again if you put his technique down.

Have fun and always keep love in your bedrooms!

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