MIDLIFE AND SEXUALITY
by Toni Burnett
Copyright 2001
Approaching midlife does not mean we no longer have the right to enjoy
sexual activity. There is no doubt that sexual activity helps make our
journey through adulthood much more pleasurable. However, during the
perimenopausal and menopausal stages, our sexual desires diminish, or
in rare cases, disappear completely. Take heart, this is normal during
this time of bodily change.
Women are not the only ones who experience changes in sexuality at
midlife. As men age, they too suffer altered sexual responses. It may
be more difficult to achieve an erection in the aging male. Ok, ladies,
we can counter that by incorporating more stimulating foreplay. It may
take a little longer, but we can still achieve the desired result! Men
can simply lose their desire due to fear of sexual failure, so be at
least a little compassionate ladies! Remember, a sensual touch can be
more rewarding than intercourse at times.
Decreased desire for sex in women at the midlife stage is directly
related to decreasing hormone levels. Testosterone, the desire hormone,
plays a very important role in female sexuality. Although it is a male
hormone, the ovaries, prior to menopause, produce testosterone in small
amounts. When production of this hormone declines, so does sexual desire.
Remember however, sexual desire does not depend on hormonal levels alone,
so rev up the engines and indulge in some of your fantasies.
It is also a good idea to discuss contraception with your doctor during
the perimenopausal and menopausal stages. A good rule of thumb is to
continue using contraception for one year after your periods have stopped.
Fear of a late forties pregnancy can also lead to decreased sexual desire.
Just because your periods have ended, does not mean that pregnancy is
out of the question. You have no way of knowing if you are ovulating
during this time; so take proper precaution, but enjoy sex anyway!
Hormonal changes may also lead to vaginal dryness, which leads to
painful intercourse. I would imagine that this is not fun! Don't be
afraid to try some of the vaginal lubricants that are available in pharmacies.
Hey, you can even have fun with this - be creative! Don't give up. Regular
stimulation by your partner, or even self-stimulation will help you
achieve less, not more, vaginal discomfort! Now that sheds a whole new
light on the phrase Use It.Or Lose It, huh? Another benefit would be
to get regular exercise. If you haven't already done so; start an exercise
program. Regular exercise increases blood flow to the vagina, thereby
reducing some of the effects of menopause.
If all else fails, consider Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). This
will replace the estrogen lost during these times of change. Consult
your health care professional for proper course of action in that regard.
Remember, this is simply another phase of your life, and like puberty,
it will pass. Once the reproductive system shuts down for good, you
will be able to enjoy sex again without worry.
Men and women. honor this phase in your life. Just look at the knowledge
you've incurred along the way!
Toni Burnett is a Spiritual Advisor and Tarot Reader living in the
bayshore area of New Jersey. She publishes and online e-zine, complete
with an Astrology column and Monthly Tarot reading. To subscribe, please
send an email to tburn@monmouth.com
with "subscribe" in the subject box. Toni facilitates weekly healing
shares at Earth Spirit New Age Center in Red Bank, NJ http://earthspiritnewage.com
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